Life Lesson Of Regret

Alright, let's talk about it. You know the thing that eats people alive but yet doesn't seem to be talked about? You haven't guessed it yet? What if I told it it begins with R and ends in egret. Yup, you read it right. We are going to talk about regrets and just exactly what they are and how you can have closure within yourself to not be so detrimental to yourself about  “mistakes”.

    Everyone is told as they are growing up that mistakes are seen as a learning block and a fundamental step in growing up. “The more mistakes you make the more you learn” which still stands to be true but with that saying comes the regret. That little feeling in you that turns your stomach sideways and tends to creep into your mind at the worst times. I have had my fair share of regret from situations big to small and yet for the longest time I had no idea how to tame the beast of the inferior sick feeling and I just let the regret soak up my mind like a sponge. But just recently I have come to the idealization of just how exactly this feeling can be fixed and now I will share it with you.

Realizing that it's not as heavy as it seems

   

When we do something that causes instant regret whether it be not handing in an assignment, not following through with plans, sending the wrong picture to someone, getting a new haircut you hate, or even just eating a piece of chocolate cake you knew you didn't need but it was calling your name, you more often than not get that spark of uneasiness swirling around your stomach. This is when you immediately have to put things into perspective. How bad was it really? Is it going to completely alter your life for the worse? Is it going to inflict pain upon you or anyone else? Did it truly change you as a person to where you can not ever bare to be with yourself alone in a room? For most of us we see life in segments, we see it as here and now and how we are feeling in the present moment. We see that eating one piece of chocolate cake made us feel “fat” and “disgusting” and we think we will feel like this forever when we need to realize that everything is temporary. That new pen you got will run out of ink, your day will end, the candle will burn out. When you are living you see things as in “I have it now and I will have it forever”, you don't typically see how impermanent all things are, including your feelings. Which leads me to the next step of………..

The evil of overthinking

   

I'm not exactly sure why we all as a society decide that overthinking is a necessity and we all need to be taught it. But what no one's tells us is that overthinking causes more pain than help in every situation. So, when the “mistake” happens you act upon emotions and you start to kind of freak out a little bit but it's not too bad. Then you hit, what I like to call it, “ the what if wall”. “What if that cake makes me gain ten pounds”, “what if the boy I like won't talk to me”, “what if my life is ruined”. Why do we do this? There is no use in causing ourselves more pain within a situation but it is so normal and romanticized we tend to do it so often for every situation that is brought to us. This causes the downward spiral which i'm sure you are all far more familiar with so I don't think I need to explain it. But the truth behind this overthinking is the fact that we all do not like to solve actual problems and retrieve closure in the physical aspect. We try to solve these issues in our minds by causing more distress which causes us to want to give up easier. It is a battle that is continuously happening when it could strictly be avoided by one step.

Write out what and how you feel

   

One of the biggest issues people in today's society have is the idea of being with themselves and figuring their mind out. For people to be still and think about why they are feeling a certain way or why something has happened to them is scary. People dont want to see whats truly in them because with this society we are all so consumed by the conditions displaced upon us we can't see who we truly are. And if we are feeling regret then we need to correct that by the easiest most life changing aspect. Writing. Now i'm not talking a book i'm talking just grabbing a piece of paper and writing down all of your thoughts and feelings. This is a place where there is no need for a filter or to perfect your words or make it pretty. Let it be a mess! Let the words flow out of you and sink them into this paper. Something I always tell people when I introduce them to writing is that the paper can't talk back, it can't judge, so write it all. Every single thing. This will take the weight off your shoulders and leave it on the paper getting it all off your chest. From there you can move on to the crucial part of forgiving yourself.

It's easy, Just forgive

   

Forgiving yourself is seen as a foreign concept seeing as people don't do it as often as they should. On an everyday basis we pretty much forgive people for things they do. For example the person walking behind you steps on your flip flop and you trip. They apologize and you forgive. Its that easy. But the thing with yourself is you put so much pressure on yourself to live up to these expectations you set and when they are not reached you get a brutal emotional beating which keeps building and building. Everyone has the chance to forgive themselves for a wrong doing or anything that has made an impact. You can always forgive yourself. Never forget that because at the end of the day the only person that is left to love and care for you is yourself and without you, nothing would exist. So write it out. That is the easiest way to remove blockages and to forgive yourself to get you back on track to your wants and needs. When you treat yourself right you will see the amazing outcomes that fall along with it.

Recap

   

This was just a jumble of different thoughts that have been cramped in my mind so it just spilled and may not have really clicked together well so here is the main points to clear things up. Understand why you are feeling this empty space in you that you are defining as regret, realize how heavy it truly is and how much it will truly affect your life, stop the constant mistake of over thinking and take action to help yourself, write out everything you are feeling and dig deep, you never know what you will find and lastly, forgive yourself as easily as you forgive others. Don't take life too seriously, just enjoy it and live it. Everything That pops up in your life is meant to happen and it is meant for you to get through. And remember to smile and laugh because that can fix just about anything. Get close with yourself and love yourself, for yourself. Until next time peace, love, and happiness.