How To Get Funky

Alright, we've all been there, you know the funky stage and no I don't mean 70’s music funky, but the type of funky that turns your stomach inside out and backwards and makes your mind melt away into oblivion. The kind that makes you feel like your feet cannot move and you are slowly but surely sinking into the quicksand that you are so petrified of. And for others, they are so deep in the quicksand they can barely keep their head up to breath. This is not an abnormal or “funky” situation, but one that everyone tends to get sucked into at one point or another. You feel helpless and broken and the only thing consuming your mind is the question of “how did I get myself here”. Now, I've been through this more than I probably should say and each was a separate challenge and I luckily found the sturdy rock just in my reach and the strength to pull myself up when I was drowning in the sorrows of my own mind. So, here I am today to tell you how you got to where you are, and to help you find your way out.

As we are growing up and continuing our lives from the day to day basis we tend to miss huge red warning signs pointing our way telling us to stop. We keep on running and filling our minds with everything we believe is wrong with us. The issue with this is we believe these things because they are continuously playing in our minds and we end up believing that we made these opinions ourselves. When in actuality, society and those whose opinions that we value most whether it be family, friends, or strangers stick with us and we decide to eat them up and allow them to poison our minds. In a more condensed version we do all of the damage to ourselves without realizing how much harm it truly does cause, but also how much influence we have.  

Don't believe me? How about if I tell you that whenever you look in the mirror you think you are “fat” and “ugly”. Did you just think that? Did your mind just go “wow, you really need to lose 10 pounds so you can look like Kylie Jenner and then put on a bunch of makeup so people like you more”? NO! That is not you telling you these things it is society planting the seed in your mind and then your mind just watering it with everyone else's opinions and you feel like you cant stop it. You have the power to put an end to these thoughts from occurring and feeding your energy to the toxic seed but we aren't shown that publicly, we are shown to sit and be quiet and let the negativity fuel us.

Now, a funk is not just having negative thoughts and letting them prosper, it actually stems from your energy. This may sound all hippy dippy but just keep an open mind and listen. We are all energy and everything gives off energy. There are different frequencies that match up and are aligned with the energies we give off. So as an example let's say you had a great morning and nothing went wrong and you were complemented, got coffee, and just everything went right and the rest of your day fell into place, this happened because you were in a high vibrational frequency and you aligned with everything else that was also at that frequency. Now let's say you woke up late, stubbed your toe on the edge of your bed, and spilt coffee all over your new shirt. Things now are going to be sporadic and a jumble of messy situations because you were at a low frequency starting off your day the rest went down the toilet. 

Those were two prime examples of high vibrational energy (positivity) and low vibrational energy (negativity). But these can coincide and give you a flip flop day. Which would be waking up and spilling your coffee but then not letting it ruin your day instead you say “I will make this a great day” and then things change and vice versa. Anyway you get the point so going back on track to getting funky what happens is you have a bad day or a rocky situation pops up in your life and you, quite frankly, give up. So you have one bad day which leads into another and another and pretty soon you turn into DJ Khaled saying “anotha one” as the bad days pass. The negativity you are producing lowers your energy level to be on such a low frequency it seems you are stuck and are yet again sinking deeper and deeper in the quicksand.

This all isn't your fault which you need to understand. From the time we enter the school system we are taught other people's rules and regulations and are introduced to societal expectations so I mean, you really didn't have a choice but to listen. As you get older you do need to realize all society is is trying to create a utopia full of negativity that wants everyone to be a part of and wants to tear away your happiness and confidence so you have to make money to feel fulfilled for a small amount of time and then crash into another funk. It is a never ending game that some people play their whole lives but hopefully for you and many others we can stop this.

No matter how long you were in this funk for here are a few ways that have helped me get through funks from one week to about four months. I follow these steps each time I feel the uneasy punch to the gut and they always tend to do the trick.

When the funk is sitting there one of the major things I have noticed is my mind tends to focus on what it is doing for other people. What I mean by this is I will think “well if I decided to do this what will THEY think” or “How will THEY feel”. You see a pattern here, you're thinking about everyone else's feelings other than focusing on your own to get better. Now I'm not saying to become a self centered, selfish person and not care about others but by you doing this when in the wrong state of mind it will only cause yourself to suppress your emotions and actually sink deeper. So to change this you could talk to someone you trust about why you feel this way or for me I like to write a letter to myself. This letter has no specific formatting but instead it just makes you understand yourself better. For example it could go a little something like this,

“Dear Sab,

I don't like how you always look in the mirror and judge yourself. I don't like how you are continuosly unhappy with your appearance and never feel good enough. You're good enough and you are perfect to me........ect.”

Just by doing this you are now taking responsibility for the things you are doing that are wreaking havoc on yourself and then you will understand that you're not all that bad and you do need to love yourself considering no one else is you and you have yourself at the end of the day, and that is your power.

Some other little things that can help to raise your vibration simply and easily while you are down in the dumps can be just as simple as sitting with yourself in a quiet space and clearing your mind, or in other words meditation. This has helped me figure out problems and get rid of anxiety and sadness when I am not a good vibrational state. Something else that truly will change your life is a gratitude list. By writing down or even saying out loud to yourself the things in your life you are grateful for whether they be large or small changes your mindset to appreciate your everyday life and to make you realize that even when you're upset, you have so much to be grateful for. By putting your energy into something as positive as gratitude your life will change and for me, gratitude was my rock that pulled me up and out of the quicksand. You can even “dream” about all of the amazing things you will accomplish in your life and your goals and with all of that together and the feeling of happiness you will rise up.

If there was one thing I want you to learn from this super long ramble it would be that love, happiness and gratitude can save your life. Not money, not materialistic items, but happiness within yourself and love shared with yourself and others does nothing but great things for you. Next time you are stuck and unmotivated I would like you to take a look at this post and do what i've said and I promise you you will not be disappointed with the results. I hope that this helped somebody out there and know that you are never ever alone. Until next time peace, love and happiness.

Life Lesson Of Regret

Alright, let's talk about it. You know the thing that eats people alive but yet doesn't seem to be talked about? You haven't guessed it yet? What if I told it it begins with R and ends in egret. Yup, you read it right. We are going to talk about regrets and just exactly what they are and how you can have closure within yourself to not be so detrimental to yourself about  “mistakes”.

    Everyone is told as they are growing up that mistakes are seen as a learning block and a fundamental step in growing up. “The more mistakes you make the more you learn” which still stands to be true but with that saying comes the regret. That little feeling in you that turns your stomach sideways and tends to creep into your mind at the worst times. I have had my fair share of regret from situations big to small and yet for the longest time I had no idea how to tame the beast of the inferior sick feeling and I just let the regret soak up my mind like a sponge. But just recently I have come to the idealization of just how exactly this feeling can be fixed and now I will share it with you.

Realizing that it's not as heavy as it seems

   

When we do something that causes instant regret whether it be not handing in an assignment, not following through with plans, sending the wrong picture to someone, getting a new haircut you hate, or even just eating a piece of chocolate cake you knew you didn't need but it was calling your name, you more often than not get that spark of uneasiness swirling around your stomach. This is when you immediately have to put things into perspective. How bad was it really? Is it going to completely alter your life for the worse? Is it going to inflict pain upon you or anyone else? Did it truly change you as a person to where you can not ever bare to be with yourself alone in a room? For most of us we see life in segments, we see it as here and now and how we are feeling in the present moment. We see that eating one piece of chocolate cake made us feel “fat” and “disgusting” and we think we will feel like this forever when we need to realize that everything is temporary. That new pen you got will run out of ink, your day will end, the candle will burn out. When you are living you see things as in “I have it now and I will have it forever”, you don't typically see how impermanent all things are, including your feelings. Which leads me to the next step of………..

The evil of overthinking

   

I'm not exactly sure why we all as a society decide that overthinking is a necessity and we all need to be taught it. But what no one's tells us is that overthinking causes more pain than help in every situation. So, when the “mistake” happens you act upon emotions and you start to kind of freak out a little bit but it's not too bad. Then you hit, what I like to call it, “ the what if wall”. “What if that cake makes me gain ten pounds”, “what if the boy I like won't talk to me”, “what if my life is ruined”. Why do we do this? There is no use in causing ourselves more pain within a situation but it is so normal and romanticized we tend to do it so often for every situation that is brought to us. This causes the downward spiral which i'm sure you are all far more familiar with so I don't think I need to explain it. But the truth behind this overthinking is the fact that we all do not like to solve actual problems and retrieve closure in the physical aspect. We try to solve these issues in our minds by causing more distress which causes us to want to give up easier. It is a battle that is continuously happening when it could strictly be avoided by one step.

Write out what and how you feel

   

One of the biggest issues people in today's society have is the idea of being with themselves and figuring their mind out. For people to be still and think about why they are feeling a certain way or why something has happened to them is scary. People dont want to see whats truly in them because with this society we are all so consumed by the conditions displaced upon us we can't see who we truly are. And if we are feeling regret then we need to correct that by the easiest most life changing aspect. Writing. Now i'm not talking a book i'm talking just grabbing a piece of paper and writing down all of your thoughts and feelings. This is a place where there is no need for a filter or to perfect your words or make it pretty. Let it be a mess! Let the words flow out of you and sink them into this paper. Something I always tell people when I introduce them to writing is that the paper can't talk back, it can't judge, so write it all. Every single thing. This will take the weight off your shoulders and leave it on the paper getting it all off your chest. From there you can move on to the crucial part of forgiving yourself.

It's easy, Just forgive

   

Forgiving yourself is seen as a foreign concept seeing as people don't do it as often as they should. On an everyday basis we pretty much forgive people for things they do. For example the person walking behind you steps on your flip flop and you trip. They apologize and you forgive. Its that easy. But the thing with yourself is you put so much pressure on yourself to live up to these expectations you set and when they are not reached you get a brutal emotional beating which keeps building and building. Everyone has the chance to forgive themselves for a wrong doing or anything that has made an impact. You can always forgive yourself. Never forget that because at the end of the day the only person that is left to love and care for you is yourself and without you, nothing would exist. So write it out. That is the easiest way to remove blockages and to forgive yourself to get you back on track to your wants and needs. When you treat yourself right you will see the amazing outcomes that fall along with it.

Recap

   

This was just a jumble of different thoughts that have been cramped in my mind so it just spilled and may not have really clicked together well so here is the main points to clear things up. Understand why you are feeling this empty space in you that you are defining as regret, realize how heavy it truly is and how much it will truly affect your life, stop the constant mistake of over thinking and take action to help yourself, write out everything you are feeling and dig deep, you never know what you will find and lastly, forgive yourself as easily as you forgive others. Don't take life too seriously, just enjoy it and live it. Everything That pops up in your life is meant to happen and it is meant for you to get through. And remember to smile and laugh because that can fix just about anything. Get close with yourself and love yourself, for yourself. Until next time peace, love, and happiness.

January/1/17

                                                              

New Year, Better Me

                                                              

  
    As the year of 2016 came to a close, were you happy? Did you achieve all the New Years resolutions and take advantage of the new experiences that were brought into your life and live abundantly and wisely? Or did you move through the year expecting the worst from each day and becoming so automatic and dull that you enjoyed nothing? Well luckily for you if you ended up creating a negative atmosphere for yourself now is the time to change it.

  The saying "new year, new me" is extremely cliché but serves as an excellent purpose. During this time people are starting to put their best foot forward and create achievable tasks for themselves to create a better life. The energy is up, people are positive and happy, and you are feeding off of that energy getting motivated yourself. But then March 16th hits and its all downhill. Less people are working towards their goals and getting so completely caught up in their own world they soon forget to, well, live. You may have found yourself in a similar position.

  If this is the year to start making things happen for yourself then lets do it. Here are some tips on how to stay motivated throughout the year and to follow through with your goals to make 2017 the best year of you.

Step One

Create a List of Resolutions With a Twist

   Resolutions and goals can be anything that you personally desire, whether it be wanting to lose a few pounds, eat healthier, or just live a better more stable life. But this is just the beginning. When you write these goals and ambitions out they are very, very vague which doesn't motivate you too much and makes you think you have the whole year to try to change. But try to spice it up a little bit. Make monthly goals that help you achieve your yearly goals. Say for instance you want to lose weight (this being your yearly goal) , then say to yourself "by March 10th I would have lost 10 pounds" (your monthly goal) or whatever it is for you personally. Having these big ideas chopped down into smaller ones will help you achieve those quicker and cross them off your list.

Step Two

Change Your Mindset

   The world we live in tends to be overruled by the negativity of the media and unfortunately it dictates how we live. Living within this is challenging, especially if you are trying to better yourself and live positively. But this change can be made within you. The mind is everything. Here we have about 60,000 thoughts a day and it is so hard to control those. But it doesn't hurt to try. What you think you become, what the mind conceives you can achieve, your thoughts create your reality. This is true. The first step to living a better life with a good mindset is to practice gratitude. This will not only help you become aware of the amazing things in your life but it will also draw more of it to you. (There will be more of this in a future blog). But start here, every day when you wake up think of the things you're grateful for, and do the same before you go to bed and well, any other time you just want to. It will change your life. I promise.  

Step Three

Keep Your Goals a Secret

   You want to make sure that while you are living a better life for yourself you don't want to be in the negative loop of failure or judgement. Keeping your goals to yourself makes you being able to achieve them that much greater. Putting your goals out there for everyone to see puts unnecessary pressure on you to try and live it through their perspective. If your ultimate goal is to be happy, when you tell people this there might be some who support you, but there will also be some who are ready to see you fail. Also, when you have your goals that no one knows about you can focus on them and make them your reality. Do not live through someone else's perspective. Yours is the only one that matters.

Step Four

Get a Mantra, and a Vision Board

   Find a saying that truly connects to you and your life. For me personally my favorite manta is "She Believed She Could, So She Did", this motivates me to put my mind to anything and I will be able to achieve it. This can be some thing as simple as "live happily" or "live, laugh, love". Just find one that you can connect to and live by it. A vision board is a great place to store all of your goals. Whether it be that new car you desire or the latest iPhone put it on the board or somewhere you always look and imagine having that. And one day you just might.

   My point to these first four steps are to achieve what your mind conceives. By following these first four steps your life will be heading into the perfect direction for your path to enlightenment. Until next time, peace, love and happiness.